


I Fall Apart

by postinghumorouslyposthumously



Series: Chillin' On a Building [1]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, But when is he not?, Fluff, I am unsure about the ending, If You Squint - Freeform, Insecure Wade, M/M, One Shot, Smut, Spideypool - Freeform, could be considered happyish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 03:22:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13966287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/postinghumorouslyposthumously/pseuds/postinghumorouslyposthumously
Summary: It was an accident. He hadn’t meant...he never…Doesn’t matter. Still happened.-Angry red scratch marks desecrated his usually unusually creamy skin. Wade stared for a long time. He thought that Peter’s back was doing a good job of painting a picture of what the rest of their relationship would look like if it continued.-One-shot. The first time Peter and Wade attempt to have sex doesn't go as smoothly as they would have hoped. God damn it, Wade.





	I Fall Apart

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this while listening to "I Fall Apart" by Post Malone on repeat, hence the title. Ironically, the content has little to do with most of the lyrics! I liked the sound, and so was inspired to write the first bit of spideypool I had in months. This is also my first post on AO3, and so I'm a mixture of excited and anxious.

It was an accident. He hadn’t meant...he never…

 

**Doesn’t matter. Still happened.**

 

He had been off the bed in an instant. Scrambling away from Peter as he realized just what he was doing. As Peter’s noises turned from turned on to in pain.

Wade had immediately scrambled off the bed, and away from him. Peter had made a noise as Wade violently tore himself away. Had stared wildly after him. Wade stared back at him, chest heaving for a few moments, before turning around sharply, hands going to his head in half-panic, half-guilt.

 

Peter hadn’t known what to do when Wade scrambled away. His back throbbed slightly, but so did his cock. Peter stared after Wade. Pain, arousal, and slight fear mixed together. It was a strange feeling. Peter didn’t know what to do. Couldn’t think of anything to say to make it better. He was supposed to be brave, goddamnit, and yet he couldn’t...He…

 

Wade slowly lowered his arms, and gripped the edge of the dresser in front of him, lowering his head. He had known something would go wrong. Had _known_ from the start. He shouldn’t have tried. Shouldn’t have ever even done anything, _said_ anything. He _knew_ himself. Knew that all he was good for was breaking. Himself, and others.

 _Peter_ ...Peter was _young_ . He was a fucking _kid_ , and Wade was a creep. A monster. He looked at his hands in the half-darkness of the room. He had dug his nails into Peter’s back and pulled down. Several times. Maybe it was something other people did, people who _liked_ it rough, but Wade had never...and if the sounds Peter had made were any indication, Peter didn’t like it either.

 _God_ , he was such a fucking _mess_ . He was so _selfish_ . _Trying. Trying_ to…

 

Peter still didn’t know what to do. He half-laid on the bed, propping himself up with his elbows. His head was turned, staring at Wade in the semi-darkness. He watched the muscles of his bare back. Shoulders tense. Peter _knew_ Wade hadn’t meant to hurt him. He knew that Wade _never_ meant to hurt him. He was also beginning to understand that Wade’s pit of self-doubt was deeper than most great lakes.

Peter sighed. He flopped back down onto his back. The at first harsh sting of the scratches was already fading away. He glanced down to his crotch. Still hard, but slowly softening, as if dejected. He glanced back in the direction of Wade. He was still standing there, back to him, clutching the edge of the dresser, head bowed.

“It’s okay.” Peter said. He heard Wade chuckling slightly.

“ _It’s okay, he says.”_ Wade started.

“ _Hear that? It’s_ **_okay_ ** _that we hurt him. It’s_ **_okay_ ** _.”_

He was mocking, but Peter realized he wasn’t really mocking Peter himself.

_“God…”_

Peter watched Wade shake his head.

“It’s not okay, Peter.”

His voice was mostly back to normal. Lost the edge of...of _whatever,_ that made Wade’s head such a scary place. He sounded tired.

“It can be.” Peter said, still lying back. Still staring at Wade. Wade was still not facing him. Peter thought it was a coward’s move.

He did not receive a reply.

Peter wondered if he should get up. Go to him. But, well...he was a coward, too. That, and he didn’t really know if he would be accepted at that current moment. Instead, he studied the scars on Wade’s back. Watched the muscles flex. Watched his skin move as he breathed. And eventually, he turned on his side facing away from Wade, and fell asleep.

 

Wade turned around once he heard Peter’s breathing even out. He was met with the sight of Peter’s bare back. Angry red scratch marks desecrated his usually unusually creamy skin. Wade stared for a long time. He thought that Peter’s back was doing a good job of painting a picture of what the rest of their relationship would look like if it continued.

  

Wade knew he was weak. Well, he _wasn’t_ , actually. He could fight off eleven guys and only get shot _maybe_ fifteen times granted they weren’t packing automatics-however, he knew he was weak when it came to important things. Things he _cared_ about.

He woke up on the floor, right next to the bed. Wade slowly sat up, and turned his head to look at the bed. Peter was still there. Sprawled on his stomach now, arm reaching across the bed in Wade’s direction. Wade scooted over, reaching his own arm across the bed to put his hand on top of Peter’s and clasp it in his grasp.

Peter stirred, and slowly, his eyes opened. Wade did not look away, and then they were looking at each other. Peter lying there, looking far to adorable with his hair a mess, cheek pressed against the pillow. Wade managed a half smile as he looked at him. Peter pulled his hand away, and sat up, the sheets pooling around his waist. He stretched, and Wade watched his bones move under his skin as he did so. Watched his veins tense. Then Peter turned, and laid down horizontally across the bed on his stomach so that his head was off the edge of the bed, nose to nose with Wade. He reached out, and wrapped his arms around Wade’s neck. Wade instinctually wrapped his arms around Peter’s shoulders and placed them on his jutting shoulder blades. Wade tried to push down the by now broken-record surprise of someone not finding him disgusting.

Wade leaned forward, and Peter complied with his movement. Their foreheads pressed together, their eyes closed. Wade’s hand trailed over Peter’s back, lightly caressing, rubbing up and down. Peter leaned forward a bit more, and their lips barely brushed. Peter’s mouth was open. The corner of Wade’s mouth quirked, and he moved so that his face was buried in the crook of Peter’s neck.

“You know...you kind of left me high and dry last night.” Peter said, slightly amusedly.

Wade tensed. _Sure, make him feel bad about that too._

“ _I kinda thought I had ruined the mood._ ” Wade mumbled into Peter’s skin. Peter made a noise in his throat.

“I would have gotten over it.”

“ _Not the point_.” Wade replied. He felt Peter shrug.

“Let’s just not make it a regular thing.”

Wade scoffed, laughing slightly at himself.

“You mean you still want this to be a _regular thing_?” Wade asked drily. Peter’s hands came up and caressed Wade’s face, pushing him away so he could look at him. Peter looked into his eyes.

_You really think I don’t?_

Wade glanced down at his lips, licking his own. They both leaned forward at the same time, mouths meeting, lips already partially open.

Wade arched up, moving to the balls of his feet. Peter brought his knees up, kneeling instead over the side of the bed. Wade moved his hands to tangle in Peter’s hair. Peter’s hands stayed where they were, caressing Wade’s face, his neck.

Wade stood up, and Peter kneeled on the bed, straightening his back. Wade leaned over him, mouths moving together. His hands moved to Peter’s wrists. He squeezed lightly, pulling, and Peter moved, getting his feet under him on the bed to push off and wrap his legs around Wade’s hips.

Wade grinned, hands moving from Peter’s wrists to wrap his arms around his waist. Peter smiled into Wade’s mouth, hand resting lightly on his throat, other still on the side of his face. Peter was licking into Wade’s mouth. They were both achingly hard. Their cocks pressed between them, giving them each an uncomfortable-but bearable, and almost enjoyable pressure.

Wade broke away from their kiss, and Peter turned his head, kissing the side of his neck, his throat, then his jaw. He tried to angle Wade’s face back down to kiss him again, but Wade didn’t relent.

“ _Peter_ ,” He said.

Peter stopped trying to reach his mouth, and paused for a moment, before kissing his neck again.

“ _Yes_?” Peter asked.

One of Wade’s hands found the nape of Peter’s neck as he let him back down to his feet. Peter made a noise, wrapping his arms tightly around Wade’s neck. Wade used the thumb and forefinger of his other hand to take Peter’s chin. He angled his face up to kiss him again.

“ _Fuck.”_

He moved his hands to Peter’s shoulders, and pushed him down to sit on the edge of the bed, and then dropped to his knees between Peter’s legs. Peter groaned, loud and unconstrained as Wade swallowed him.

Peter’s hand rested on the nape of Wade’s neck. Wade took one of Peter’s thighs and shoved it over his shoulder, enjoying the sound Peter made when he did. With his other hand, Wade held on tightly to Peter’s hip, keeping him still. Peter’s other hand was clutching at Wade’s shoulder. Peter’s head lulled forward, rolling on his shoulders.

“ _Wade_ …”

Wade smirked, taking him deeper.

“ _Wade!”_

Was it possible to come from sucking someone _else_ off?

“ _Don’t stop_!”

As if he would _stop_.

“ _Wade...wadewadewadewadewade.”_

Peter trailed off, a slight, drunk smile on his face. He hung his head back, eyes rolling toward the ceiling. He came quietly, with a broken little sigh. Wade swallowed.

Wade got up off his knees, moving to sit down on the bed next to Peter. Peter leaned into him, bone dead. His cheek rested on Wade’s shoulder, and Wade wrapped his arm around him. Peter reached forward for Wade’s own cock. Wade didn’t stop him. Instead, he cradled Peter’s head with his other hand, burying his nose in his hair.

Peter’s hand stroked him with no real rhythm other than to get him off. Wade was absolutely in heaven. Peter’s other hand, his left hand, was holding on to Wade’s elbow.

Wade made little noises into Peter’s hair, fingers massaging his scalp. He rolled his hips into Peter’s hand with a groan.

Wade shuddered when he came, going still, holding Peter close as possible to him. He leaned entirely against Peter as he came down. Peter kissed his nipple, his collarbone, then reached across him with his left hand to grab his shoulder and push him gently down to lay on his back. Peter laid with his head on Wade’s chest, arm snug across his middle. He idly began licking his hand clean.

Wade wrapped his arm around Peter’s shoulders and back, and used his other hand to finally wipe his mouth, and then settle it on the side of Peter’s head, fingers threading through his hair.

Wade glanced down, and Peter’s eyes were closed.

“What...what happened last night was…”

“An accident.” Peter finished. Wade stared at him. Peter opened his eyes, and tilted his head up to look at him. He turned his head slightly and pressed a kiss to Wade’s chest. Wade ran his fingers through Peter’s hair.

“I trust you.” Peter said, reaching up with his right hand and resting it on Wade’s cheek.

“I don’t trust me.

Peter shrugged.

“I know you better.”

Wade blinked at him. Peter rubbed his thumb over Wade’s cheekbone. Wade held back a wince at how his scars probably felt under Peter’s hand. Peter grinned slightly, not realizing Wade’s self-consciousness.

“Besides, practice makes perfect,” he said.

“I _hurt_ you.”

Peter rolled his eyes, and Wade felt a bit of annoyance at the fact that Peter wasn’t taking this more seriously.

“You _scratched_ me. During _sex_.”

“I mean...we weren’t technically having sex yet.”

Peter just smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling. Wade leaned forward a bit and kissed the top of his his head after his hand had smoothed his hair down. Peter’s smile faded and he grew more serious.

“I do trust you, Wade,” Peter said.

Wade said nothing, just averted his gaze and held Peter closer to him. Peter’s right hand moved down to rest against the side of Wade’s neck, and his other hand grazed up and down Wade’s side.

Wade stared up at the ceiling.

_I do trust you, Wade._

Wade wasn’t sure that was a _good_ thing, but...Well, he most certainly trusted Peter’s judgement more than his own. Maybe...well, Peter was fucking Spider-Man for god’s sake. He couldn’t hurt him. Peter wouldn’t _let_ him. He was sure of that.

Wade kept running his fingers through Peter’s hair.


End file.
